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Saturday, January 10, 2009
On why only pompous gits might read The Hindu
On the front page of today's Hindu is this classic headline:
"Order allowing plea challenging appointment of Ananth stayed" (link)
Now, unless you are Humphrey Appleby intent on throwing your interlocutor entirely out of the loop of understanding by unnecessarily, and by implication utterly callously employing a complicated syntax, thereby effacing your possibly deductible bias, while simultaneously projecting an air of informed formality and rigorous neutrality, obfuscating clarity by employing a redundant turn of phrase, and entirely out of the necessity of not creating unwanted non-negatives proving you are a pompous git, why would you write a headline such as that?
The Times of India on the other hand, spares our brains the gymnastics and says:
"HC backs Ananth as IIT-Madras head"
...
Can you think of other great headlines that can now be Hindufied? Here are a few. Add more in the comments.
Kurukshetra, 7th May 1040BC
Krishna clarifies stand on claims of his not referring to battle elephant while denying his lack of ignorance on the non-demise of Teacher's son
Jerusalem, 4th April 32
Pontius Pilate quashes rumours of his possible support to the alleged non-existence of the Judaen People's Front (J)
New Delhi, 30th January 1948
Paternal Parent of the Nation allegedly assaulted by possible man wielding projectile weapon resulting in no-uncertain termination of living functions of the former
Washinton DC, 20th July 1969
American President denies reports of him as not announcing possible lunar contact by humans
Labels: Humour, Links, Media, WTF
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Benicio del காளை
One of the charms of Indian politics is in observing the string of dead people one is allowed to invoke in posters and campaigns. I remember watching on TV a chap who put up posters for Velupillai Prabhakaran's birthday (fateful day that was). Interestingly enough, that birthday boy poster had pictures of EVR Periyar and Ambedkar in it!! I suppose anything goes in Tamil Nadu.
A few days later I happened to be in southern AP (colloquially, an extension of northern Madras) and not to be outdone, Chiranjeevi had inducted Mother Teresa into his pantheon of duotone thumbnail mugs.
But recently, what had me cracking up was this:
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Shocking
In the absence of technology other than standard definition, static, normal-speed television cameras, when the field umpires refer things like small edges and LBWs to the third, then they are almost never given out.
Friday, January 11, 2008
TATA Nano
I do find the name a little boring, but that's an entirely different story.
What gets my goat is all these car-owning rich people who seem to be having ‘nightmares’ about all those irresponsible poor people who are suddenly now set to pollute the environment and clog up our streets.
Labels: WTF
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
I've come to demand an apology
Uh what for?
I don't appreciate being called a bastard!
Fair enough!
(turns around to rest of team)
Which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?
Now that's an idea for Brad Hogg!
Monday, May 14, 2007
This news items contains triple-antigenic Zeolytes for optimal moisturation
What the fuck are they talking about?
Morons
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Somebody please racially abuse me
STEP 2: I can arrange for a film-crew to record it.
STEP 3: You can then threaten to kill me if that film is ever shown.
STEP 4: Priyaranjan Dasmunsi can arrange for the gruesome film of my victimisation to be screened in Parliament.
STEP 5: I may even be able to land some interesting jobs.
STEP 6: Maybe you can get a cut!
PS:Paappaan is not too far from poppadom!
Friday, February 23, 2007
No மீசை, No மண்
You think it sucks; you think it is terrible? What if THAT *exactly* was what Sudhish had intended to do?
டேய், போன வாரந்தானே என் கிட்ட அடி வாங்கின?
அது போன வாரம்! நான் சொல்லுறது இந்த வாரம்.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Sai Baba Embraces Atheism
It appears that when it comes to serving the needs of the people, faith (or the lack of it) does not seem to bother our leaders. Today Tamil Nadu CM M.Karunanidhi shared the dais with prominent godman Sai Baba to inaugurate the lining of some water thingamajig for the thingy of the stuff.
When reporters questioned him about sharing public space with a renowned atheist, the saffron-robed, afro-sporting godman had this to say: "It is not serving god that counts, but to think if god exist at all!"
Many prominent commentators like Dr. Acharya 'Som' Pandey point out that this indicates a slow, but definite move towards the secularisation of god-worship. Dr. Pandey also quickly adds that since the Rig Veda talks extensively about a prevalent atheism even amongst the gods (also referred to by B.M.H. Bradley as "Deist Existentialism", in his seminal 1932 book, Rig Veda for Dummies), today's announcement by the Baba is only a reaffirming of the atheist core of Sanathana Dharma.
Labels: WTF
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Magyar Magyar Magyar
I am so utterly speechless!
Time to sue Dr. Pandey for breaking the exclusive contract he signed with me.
Update: This one's even better. It's got pictures of onions and Nehru.
Update 2: Art, you'll never really die!
