Mdeii life: Another actress in temple row

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Monday, July 03, 2006

Another actress in temple row

Today Allied News-United States (AN-US) reports that famous actress Sharon Stone admits to have entered and worshipped in a temple. The chief priest of the Therupuzhudhi Kozhaiadi temple in Madras, confirmed this and expressed great shock and disappointment at what had happened. He has since initiated purification rituals in the temple.

The temple does not permit the entrance of people with IQs greater than 50. Stone, who's IQ is greater than 150, is thus said to have committed sacrilege by her act. Stone, in a statement released through her lawyer, said that she “regretted it” and also with significant irony said that it was a “stupid, unintelligent thing” that she did when she was only 2.

The incident is said to have happened in 1960 when Stone had visited Madras along with her parents. While her parents had been busy arguing with a nearby potti kadai owner regarding their purchase of two small bananas, the young Stone had taken baby steps towards the sanctum sanctorum of the temple situated next to the shop on the platform. Even as a two-year-old, Sharon had exhibited significant levels of intelligence, and was thus unpermissible in the temple.

The temple was founded in 1955 by Kozhaiadi Swamigal of Saidappettai who while lying on the platform in a fully inebriated state one Saturday morning, had chanced upon the embodiment of the lord of the lower IQs when he saw written on a cement slab the letters 'MC'. Swamigal immediately understood that this meant 'IQ'. Also since 'MC' had been written in upper-case, this also meant that IQ should be understood to be lower (case).

Just last week, newspaper reports had said that famous astrologer 'Saasthiram' Swaminathan had accurately predicted the reason for the inexplicably small collections in the aluminium hundial of the temple between 2:00 and 2:20 PM on the 1st of December 1960. He had attributed this to the presence of intelligent human beings in the vicinity. On reading this report, which had been picked by her feed-reader, Stone is said to have realised her folly, and since released the statement in Los Angeles late yesterday.

While many devotees have been in silent mourning since the revelations came to light, some have even questioned Sharon Stone's contention, and claim that there are sentries posted near the potti kadai who conduct routine IQ tests to confirm the lack of intelligence in their worshippers before letting them step onto the platform. One of these tests involves playing the famous MGR song where he is disguised as a Punjabi folk dancer. Those who gasp with surprise, when MGR in a close-up shot, briefly removes his moustache to reveal his identity, are ushered in to the temple. Those who merely laugh are turned away.

Even though it has not even been a few hours since the AN-US revelations on the web, many bloggers have picked up this story and have written lengthy rants. While some claim that lack of intelligence involves personal choice where one can choose to be stupid, and therefore entry to the temple cannot be denied on logical grounds, some others point out to the fact that Kozhaiadi Swamigal had never expressly stated that only stupid people are permitted entry, he had merely stated in transcripts of his famous drunken rants that large IQs are threats to his institution. This, they say, does not constitute a direct prohibition on intelligent people.

Whatever discussed, the truth remains that many dumb people have since refrained from visiting the temple citing the evil presence of intelligence having sullied their hallowed ground. The purification rituals, said to cost the temple trust a whopping 50p and one heavily chewed beetlenut-tobacco mix, is to take more than 3 years to complete, while the faithful are gearing themselves for a long wait of 20 seconds before thronging the temple in droves again.